


Need the Words

by ninaplswhy



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 07:15:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16300514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninaplswhy/pseuds/ninaplswhy
Summary: They’re together, but growing distant. Daniel just needs the words, but Seongwu can't bring himself to say it. Why is saying "I'm sorry" so hard?





	Need the Words

There are many things Seongwu likes about Daniel. He likes the way he smiles and his whole being lights up. His smile is contagious. When Seongwu is feeling upset, all Daniel has to do is press a smile into his hair and hold him tightly and he feels himself calm, at once comfortable in his warmth and no longer upset. Seongwu likes that he doesn’t have to say anything yet Daniel always knows when he needs him.

There are many things Seongwu dislikes about Daniel. He dislikes that Daniel tries to finish his sentences and assume what he’s feeling. There are times when he cannot articulate exactly what he feels and he dislikes how Daniel assumes something different. He feels like he has been placed into this neat box where Daniel knows how he’s going to react to everything, that he is completely predictable and he hates the things he assumes about him and what it says about what he thinks he is like and fucking hell just because he says something _one day_ doesn’t mean he feels the same the _next day_ and—

There are many things Seongwu likes and dislikes about Daniel. But he cannot attribute his own inability to apologize to Daniel. _That_ is his own problem.

Apologizing has never come easy to him. The words “I’m sorry” are foreign and his tongue is unaccustomed to the words. He can spit them out easily enough but to him, it sounds like a different language altogether. It sounds like he is mimicking what he hears, but the sincerity behind the words is absent. He likens it to a toddler learning how to speak for the first time. How they first learn how to say “I’m sorry” when they do something wrong but don’t quite feel the emotion behind what they feel obligated to say.

It was really simple.

All he had to do was say the words.

“I’m sorry.”

Daniel needed the words.

Above everything, he needed them.

But somehow the words stayed stuck in Seongwu’s throat. He looks into the mirror and mouths them, practices how the words are formed and how to put sincerity into his eyes. In the end, he ends up in the shower, his forehead against the tiles and eyes closed as he imagines the scenario in which he repeats those words “I’m sorry” in as sincere a voice as he can manage. In every scene he is forgiven and the imagined version of himself is relieved and everything is okay again.

He knows it’s not that easy.

But dear god, he desperately wants it to be.

So he shows up to his apartment.

He is ready.

He is ready to say the words. To admit he’s wrong. To give to him the words he needs.

To have him back.

But he opens the door and the words are once again stuck in his throat. Seongwu looks up at Daniel and he knows he must look a wreck because of the pity that appears in his eyes.

He breathes in, opens and closes his mouth a few times. He wets his lips and readies herself to say the words.

Before he can speak, Daniel gathers Seongwu in his arms. Seongwu  is dumbfounded.

Once again he is making the first steps towards reconciliation. No. This isn’t right. Seongwu pulls himself away from Daniel and holds his face between his hands.

He looks him in the eyes and says the two words.

For a moment, they are both silent. He opens his mouth once more, hoping to elaborate, knowing he needs to hear it.

“It’s enough,” Daniel says. “Just knowing that you’re sorry. It’s enough.”

Seongwu licks his lips and feels moisture spring to his eyes.

He repeats himself.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m incapable of compromising but I promise I’ll try. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to say such a simple thing as I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m so stubborn, so stuck, so argumentative. I’m sorry I’m not nice enough, that I don’t spend enough time with you. I’m just so, so--“ He chokes on his next words and Daniel gathers him into his arms again.

“You’re enough,” he says. “You’re more than enough.” He presses his face into his neck and wraps his arms around him.

Just as Daniel needs to hear “I’m sorry,” Seongwu needed to hear that too. That he’s enough. Just as he needs his closeness, he needs the words. And for tonight… for tonight, it’s enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this years ago and found it again recently. Figured I'd change the names and offer it to the fandom.
> 
> I'm @ninaplswhy on twitter.


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